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Omniarchy

Omniarchy describes the principals and positions of a new political philosophy in the United States. The originality of the political positions espoused by the essays contained on the following pages is matched by the novelty of the name used to define them: Omniarchy. If anarchy is the rule of none, monarchy is the rule of one, and oligarchy is the rule of some, then Omniarchy is the rule of all.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The Top Ten Reasons We Should Assassinate Pat Robertson

I see where Pat Robertson is at it again.

Well, much like Swift's solution to Irish overcrowding, I have an idea about how we can prevent any future outbreaks of his obviously chronic case of "foot-in-mouth" disease:

The Top Ten Reasons We Should Assassinate Pat Robertson

10 - It'll show the world the true meaning of Christianity.

9 - Unlike Hugo Chavez, he wasn't elected to anything.

8 - It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war against the Christian Coalition, and I don't think any religious services will stop.

7 - It will prove that "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the ACLU, and the People for the American Way" weren't responsible for 9/11.

6 - Who does Chavez think he is anyway, Salvador Allende?

5 - His TV show can change its name to The 699 Club.

4 - It will help to resurrect the careers of Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart.

3 - We should take out everybody whose first name is "Marion".

2 - He'll never run for President again.

1 - Cheaper Venezuelan oil!

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